Valentine's Day Was A Gas

WARNING: This story contains some serious TMI moments. You have been warned, but it is too funny not to share with the Internet. You have been warned.

First TMI moment, my dad is a gassy man. Sitting on the couch, walking in Costco, no matter where no matter when dad will fart. Sadly I take after him although I try to be a little more discreet. It doesn't always work but sometimes.

I have recently experienced my first Valentine's Day with a real live boyfriend. We had been dating a couple of weeks and the romantic day approached, he made dinner reservations, I sent him an edible arrangement at work. Side note, I made all the ladies jealous when he got a delivery. That's right, I rock like that.

After a very nice dinner we returned to my place for a quiet hang out. Warning TMI moment. I put on a little black sexy something (important piece to remember), just use your imagination because there is certainly no picture coming.

Shellie Moment: We are innocently sitting on the couch (I assure you it was innocent at this point) cuddled up and watching a bit of TV. Well what a time to act like my father. That is right I farted. Not a big old stinky fart but it was a good solid fart. It had a great noise, slight vibration and luckily no stank. There was no control and no words. I feel like the YouTube chick who tries to do a sexy dance and falls down. I dress nice and sexy and I fart. Thank you dad. I love you to.

I have myself a good man because he did not dump me immediately following said fart. He had however been pressuring me to meet his parents. I kept resisting as I am a  total commitment phobe. One Sunday night a couple weeks after Valentine's Day I get a text: Guess what my mom just called me about? Um...do I even want to know? It is important to note that I did stay at their house while they were out of town to help with dog sitting. That is it. To hang out and meet the pets, not the parents.

Instead of texting this story he chooses to call me, asked me if I was missing anything, I think not. I have all my possessions there is no reason your mother would find anything at their place. Somehow..and we still argue about the how...that sexy black piece ended up at their place in a load of laundry he did. Long story short his mother found my lingerie. AWKWARD! Certainly not meeting parents anytime soon now!