I Have to Remember I am a Lady

This does not happen very often. The actual occurrence of this supernatural event happens but once in a blue harvest moon. That's right folks I wore a dress, in public. For those that only know me through this blog wearing a dress is a big deal in my world. I grew up wearing mostly men's t-shirts and jeans so to be so very feminine is a sight to be seen. I shaved up my pretty pale Canadian legs and I put a dress on. Let me point out two things: 1) it was Valentine's day and it is a red dress and 2) Since I have been working out again and have lost 15 lbs I fit into the dress again! It was indeed something to be celebrated.

The dress that made it all happen

I am aware that I am single and it is almost an unwritten rule that single people must hate Single's Awareness Day. I do not. I love it! I wanted to wear red and since my curves snuggled ever so nicely back into the aforementioned garment that is what I wanted to go out in the world in. When I was getting dressed I realized that I no longer had a pair of stockings to cover up my freshly shaven Canadian gams. This is a predicament...

I decided that the dress looked long enough to cover tattoos on my legs and I would make it through the day without stockings. Granted it is not a short dress, but it is shorter than I would like without stockings. Just a personal comfort level is all. I think the 1950's had it right, all dresses just below the knee. Thank goodness for Chinooks though! It was not stupid cold in Calgary and I made it from the parkade to my office without losing a leg to frost bite. 

Shellie Moment: While in the parkade I found a spot that I could drive through and at the end of the day there would be no backing up just drive out in one motion. At the same time someone was coming from the opposite direction and parked right next to me, drivers door to drivers door. Welcome to the panic zone! I motioned to open my door first and won the race, that was a bad idea. Let's start there. Ok, think...how do I get out of the car like a lady without flashing the poor soul across from me. Stockings where are you now! I grab my bag so I can do this all in one motion, adjust my dress so it is back to an appropriate length and turn my entire body towards the door keeping my knees firmly clenched together. I will not fail. I will not fail. I will not fail. Clenching and turning was successful it was the upward heave motion to lift my body out of my vehicle that dashed the best laid plan. Heave...no. Heave...no. Screw this! I will not describe what happened next, but it was neither classy nor sexy. It was manly, oh so manly but successfully removed myself from my vehicle and made my way to work.

For those wondering what to do in this situation, should you be a hot mess like myself, I suggest this blog I found from 1968 about how to handle cars and stairs like a lady. If you need me I will be in the car practising.