I got a sticker, I got a sticker. I got a sticker hey hey hey! I went to the doctor to get a physical so that I can get my class 4 license for work. It is amazing how you need a different license to drive a large vehicle, but I can take the test in my Saturn...Weird. Anyways, it was a very simple appointment, some poking, no prodding, and a clean bill of health. I was leaving the premises when I passed by the nurse trying to coax a young child with stickers to behave and step on the scale. I don't want to step on the scale either but I do not cry about it.
Shellie Moment: Me: I didn't get a sticker when I came in
Nurse: Did you behave?
Me: I sure did, even got a clean bill of health (holding up the paper proudly)
Nurse: Well then you get a sticker
Little girl: I want one to!
Me: Shut up little girl!
Ok I did not say that last one, but I got a sticker! The fun does not stop there either. I went to a physio appointment and with the usual niceties I very proudly showed off my sticker that I got. It very much sounded the same as the excited children from Little Rascals.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I Hit My Head
Shellie Moment: In my tired stooper I opened the fridge and some of my co-workers cheese fell out and being the responsible adult I have grown into I bent over to pick up said cheese. What you cannot see from that photo is that there is a table in front of the fridge and prevented a full range of motion that would have prevented this entire entry. I bent over for cheese and BAM fridge hit me square in the forehead. SQUARE IN THE FOREHEAD.
Fridge: 1 Shellie: 0
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Life Lesson #4521: Always wash your hands
My mother works in infection control, she is also a nurse. Growing up we were constantly told to wash our hands. It is a general life lesson, wash your hands. I am not talking after using the bathroom, that is just an automatic that you should do, don't be gross. I am talking after handling raw meat, petting your sweet cat or dog, maybe some weird exotic pet, and especially after applying lotions or creams to your body. Helpful tip from me to you: when washing your hands use soap and rub your hands together for 20 seconds. You can sing twinkle twinkle little star or happy birthday and you're done!
I am back on the workout train, 5 days 6 workouts throughout October. hopefully I just melt away! I am not sure during which workout I did it, but I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and that is some painful business! I have been icing, taking ibuprofen, elevating, and keeping it as mobile as possible. Thank you Internet research!
Shellie Moment: Before I go to bed I have been applying an icy gel to keep the cold feeling going while I sleep. I was applying said gel all over the affected area instantly feeling icy relief. After said application I rinsed my hand with water. Just a rinse, yes that will remove all gel and icy material from application hand. I went back to the couch to watch some more television before bed. I was feeling fatigued and rubbed my eyes. Well that was stupid! Wait why is my eye cold, why is my eye cold!? Damn! Rinsing is not washing. After thoroughly now washing my hands, I rinsed my eye out. Do not rub your eyes! Just bad times all around.
I am back on the workout train, 5 days 6 workouts throughout October. hopefully I just melt away! I am not sure during which workout I did it, but I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and that is some painful business! I have been icing, taking ibuprofen, elevating, and keeping it as mobile as possible. Thank you Internet research!
Shellie Moment: Before I go to bed I have been applying an icy gel to keep the cold feeling going while I sleep. I was applying said gel all over the affected area instantly feeling icy relief. After said application I rinsed my hand with water. Just a rinse, yes that will remove all gel and icy material from application hand. I went back to the couch to watch some more television before bed. I was feeling fatigued and rubbed my eyes. Well that was stupid! Wait why is my eye cold, why is my eye cold!? Damn! Rinsing is not washing. After thoroughly now washing my hands, I rinsed my eye out. Do not rub your eyes! Just bad times all around.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Serious Case of Old Lady Syndrome
I am 28 years young. Trying to eat healthier and stay more active but I will never deny that there is a little bit of a couch potato inside me. Lately it has become quite the spud. Remember the days when you could stay up to all hours of the night, wake up early and still be a fully functioning member of society the whole day then do it all over again? I remember those sweet memories to. Head out and party until 2 am and wake up to be at work for 7, nap it off and do it all over again. Mind you I was never a wild party animal but I did have my hay day.
Shellie Moment: Now as a full blown adult with grey hairs and all i have a hard time staying up to 11 pm on a weeknight and celebrate what I like to call nap after work day every Friday. I am not sure if it was the terrible Calgary weather this week or just being down right tired but on Thursday this week there was a serious case of Old Lady Syndrome and I was physically in bed and asleep by 930 pm. I think grade school kids stay up later than that now a days! Not only that, Friday night I was ecstatic that Free Willy was on TV!! Wow am I old that I get excited about a movie on TV on a Friday night. Does that tell you how exciting I am? Well I am not exciting. At all. I could not even make it through Free Willy. I was in bed by 10 pm.
Wow am I cool!! NOT!
Shellie Moment: Now as a full blown adult with grey hairs and all i have a hard time staying up to 11 pm on a weeknight and celebrate what I like to call nap after work day every Friday. I am not sure if it was the terrible Calgary weather this week or just being down right tired but on Thursday this week there was a serious case of Old Lady Syndrome and I was physically in bed and asleep by 930 pm. I think grade school kids stay up later than that now a days! Not only that, Friday night I was ecstatic that Free Willy was on TV!! Wow am I old that I get excited about a movie on TV on a Friday night. Does that tell you how exciting I am? Well I am not exciting. At all. I could not even make it through Free Willy. I was in bed by 10 pm.
Wow am I cool!! NOT!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Make an Ass of Yourself
There will be no photos to accompany this blog and shortly you will realize why. This year I was involved in a bus accident and it has resulted in lower back pain for the first time in my life. Not fun, I do not recommend it. I have been attending physiotherapy regularly for the past 2 months and have gotten used to how they do things. Let me introduce you to the routine:
1) I arrive
2) I warmly greet the friendly receptionist who returns with kind greetings
3) I go to the back area and claim a bed while the physiotherapy assistant grabs me a robe
4) I change into the robe so that they can access my lower back without the problem of my pants
5) I assume the position laying face down with the robe neatly tied
6) the physiotherapy assistant returns and attaches a machine to my back that does things to it, tingly things
7) the physiotherapist arrives and does some poking around and some massage
8) get some ultrasound
9) change from my fashionable blue robe back into my everyday clothes
10) depart
Wow that is a good solid 10 steps, not as good as 12 steps but those people have much more determination (and good on you). I was in the midst of step 7 when it happened. I just need to make it clear that while I tie the robe and assume a face down position to receive the healing they quickly come in and untie my robe. Let's just say I always make sure I am wearing presentable under garments.
My physiotherapist is not shy about moving my under garments to fully access the area that is still in pain. I imagine in their line of work they have seen it all and I am inside a private curtained off area so I just let her do her thing. There is a very classy face hole in the bed so that I can breather in the assumed face down position. I spend more time talking to their shoes than their faces. I recognize both sets of shoes and know who is in the room even if there is no talking.
Shellie Moment: I noticed during step 3 that there is a new face and knew that they were doing some hiring recently so assumed it was the other assistant for the afternoon physiotherapist. No more thoughts about that. At this point my ass is mostly exposed, the robe is off to either side only remaining tied at the very top, after all I am allowed some decency right? That is when I notice it, there is a new set of shoes in front of my face. I see that her feet are smaller than I am used to. There is a new person in the room! All of a sudden a light tap on my shoulder and and the owner of the shoes introduces herself as the new student that is doing a practicum. "Well I am sorry you are seeing this side of me first, I usually like to meet face to face first and get comfortable." was my response.
I don't flash my bum for everyone, I like some eye contact first, I am a lady!
1) I arrive
2) I warmly greet the friendly receptionist who returns with kind greetings
3) I go to the back area and claim a bed while the physiotherapy assistant grabs me a robe
4) I change into the robe so that they can access my lower back without the problem of my pants
5) I assume the position laying face down with the robe neatly tied
6) the physiotherapy assistant returns and attaches a machine to my back that does things to it, tingly things
7) the physiotherapist arrives and does some poking around and some massage
8) get some ultrasound
9) change from my fashionable blue robe back into my everyday clothes
10) depart
Wow that is a good solid 10 steps, not as good as 12 steps but those people have much more determination (and good on you). I was in the midst of step 7 when it happened. I just need to make it clear that while I tie the robe and assume a face down position to receive the healing they quickly come in and untie my robe. Let's just say I always make sure I am wearing presentable under garments.
My physiotherapist is not shy about moving my under garments to fully access the area that is still in pain. I imagine in their line of work they have seen it all and I am inside a private curtained off area so I just let her do her thing. There is a very classy face hole in the bed so that I can breather in the assumed face down position. I spend more time talking to their shoes than their faces. I recognize both sets of shoes and know who is in the room even if there is no talking.
Shellie Moment: I noticed during step 3 that there is a new face and knew that they were doing some hiring recently so assumed it was the other assistant for the afternoon physiotherapist. No more thoughts about that. At this point my ass is mostly exposed, the robe is off to either side only remaining tied at the very top, after all I am allowed some decency right? That is when I notice it, there is a new set of shoes in front of my face. I see that her feet are smaller than I am used to. There is a new person in the room! All of a sudden a light tap on my shoulder and and the owner of the shoes introduces herself as the new student that is doing a practicum. "Well I am sorry you are seeing this side of me first, I usually like to meet face to face first and get comfortable." was my response.
I don't flash my bum for everyone, I like some eye contact first, I am a lady!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Another Blog About a Fart
I know you have all been asking yourselves why I have not written about a good fart lately. You are wondering if I have been keeping them all bottled up inside. In the dead of night you are kept awake haunted by the lack of fart blogs and hoping that one comes along. It is that magical day my readers.
Yet again, I am in the dating scene. I have been with this gentleman for a few months now, yes I have farted in front of him, not by personal choice rather my anus saw a romantic moment happening and decided to sing me a song of his people. Apparently my anus is a male. Enough with the word anus, oh my word Shellie where are you going. There was a minor tooting incident that was not really a Shellie moment just unfortunate.
Yesterday we had a lazy day planned, a Game of Thrones marathon on the couch during a rainy Calgary day. He slept in pretty late and I was about ready for a nap. I was going to lay down for a bit and told him to just pop over whenever he pleased, I leave the door open when I am expecting him. I could not sleep decided to hop in the shower so I would smell pretty for my gentleman.
You know at the beginning of a budding relationship where you still shave your legs to impress your other half? I still feel the need to shave my legs. So here I am shaving away, making myself all feminine like, instead of the hairy lumberjack I usually appear to be when I am single, and I fart. A nice squeaky fart, a good solid few seconds. It was a prize winning lady like fart. After all I live alone why wouldn't I fart in my shower? I bet you have farted in the shower before. Admit it!
Shellie Moment: I am clean, my legs are smooth, my fart is cleared. Turn off the water, remove excess water from my short locks, slide the shower door open and step out. Out of nowhere I hear "hi there". My heart sinks. I respond immediately with "did you just get here". Oh my lord, did he hear me fart? How long has he been there? Do I ask? Can I ask?
Moral of the story do not ask! Gentleman, if you are reading this never tell me if you heard me fart in the shower on this day and I will never ask you.
Yet again, I am in the dating scene. I have been with this gentleman for a few months now, yes I have farted in front of him, not by personal choice rather my anus saw a romantic moment happening and decided to sing me a song of his people. Apparently my anus is a male. Enough with the word anus, oh my word Shellie where are you going. There was a minor tooting incident that was not really a Shellie moment just unfortunate.
Yesterday we had a lazy day planned, a Game of Thrones marathon on the couch during a rainy Calgary day. He slept in pretty late and I was about ready for a nap. I was going to lay down for a bit and told him to just pop over whenever he pleased, I leave the door open when I am expecting him. I could not sleep decided to hop in the shower so I would smell pretty for my gentleman.
You know at the beginning of a budding relationship where you still shave your legs to impress your other half? I still feel the need to shave my legs. So here I am shaving away, making myself all feminine like, instead of the hairy lumberjack I usually appear to be when I am single, and I fart. A nice squeaky fart, a good solid few seconds. It was a prize winning lady like fart. After all I live alone why wouldn't I fart in my shower? I bet you have farted in the shower before. Admit it!
Shellie Moment: I am clean, my legs are smooth, my fart is cleared. Turn off the water, remove excess water from my short locks, slide the shower door open and step out. Out of nowhere I hear "hi there". My heart sinks. I respond immediately with "did you just get here". Oh my lord, did he hear me fart? How long has he been there? Do I ask? Can I ask?
Moral of the story do not ask! Gentleman, if you are reading this never tell me if you heard me fart in the shower on this day and I will never ask you.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Measurements of Success
I am very proud to announce I have lost 25 lbs!I have to put a shameless plug in for Fitbody Bootcamp where I have been working out and mostly the reason for the weight loss.
I have a theory in life that if people just met my mother I would make a whole lot more sense. I fully believe that is where I get my potty mouth and crazy sense of humour. It was actually during a lunch with this crazy woman in which this Shellie Moment took place.
I recently changed jobs within the tourism industry and one of the perks in a salad bar in the food court. Now my mom and I bond over salad every few weeks because she is much closer to this job than my last one.
We have both lost a substantial amount of weight lately and were chatting about how we measure success. We are all taught that it is the number that counts, but let's face it, the number sucks and it is never what we want it to be. My mother goes by how she feels and how clothes fit. She has done such a great job losing weight and she looks fabulous!
Shellie Moment: I go by a different way. After University I finally got 2 tattoos I have been waiting to get for a very long time, two very sexy pin up girls by a very talented artist Peel Smith at New Dimension Tattoos. I hate pants. Since I live alone I do not have to wear pants when just hanging out alone. When I sat down my stomach would flow over my thighs and decapitate my sexy ladies. Now that I have lost weight I measure by the fact that my ladies are no longer decapitated when I sit. They can breath! It is a miracle! That is how I measure weight loss success.
I have a theory in life that if people just met my mother I would make a whole lot more sense. I fully believe that is where I get my potty mouth and crazy sense of humour. It was actually during a lunch with this crazy woman in which this Shellie Moment took place.
I recently changed jobs within the tourism industry and one of the perks in a salad bar in the food court. Now my mom and I bond over salad every few weeks because she is much closer to this job than my last one.
We have both lost a substantial amount of weight lately and were chatting about how we measure success. We are all taught that it is the number that counts, but let's face it, the number sucks and it is never what we want it to be. My mother goes by how she feels and how clothes fit. She has done such a great job losing weight and she looks fabulous!
Shellie Moment: I go by a different way. After University I finally got 2 tattoos I have been waiting to get for a very long time, two very sexy pin up girls by a very talented artist Peel Smith at New Dimension Tattoos. I hate pants. Since I live alone I do not have to wear pants when just hanging out alone. When I sat down my stomach would flow over my thighs and decapitate my sexy ladies. Now that I have lost weight I measure by the fact that my ladies are no longer decapitated when I sit. They can breath! It is a miracle! That is how I measure weight loss success.
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